I've Been Sayin' it For Years

Romantic comedies will ruin your love life.

I've always said it about Disney movies in particular; specifically the princess movies.

Fact.

Character Flaw

I was just thinking...this isn't about any specific event, just my ruminations.

I used to like confrontation. I got a kick out of it. I'd look for fights.

Now I hate and fear confrontation. But not because of what the other person might say or do.

I'm more afraid of what I might say. When confronted or confronting, I can say some deeply hurtful stuff before I realize the full magnitude of what I've said.

You see, I have a wicked sharp tongue that moves much faster than my brain. I refined it in the Army as a survival tool in a hyper-masculine environment, but I've had this "ability" since I was a teenager. I can't really joke around by trading insults; its kinda like playing laser tag with a real gun option on the zapper. With a faulty safety switch.

This is not a good thing.

I have a love/hate relationship with it. I want to hate it more and love it less. But admittedly, the broken part of me still loves it.

I realize its a power and fear thing. Words are powerful. When afraid, I can unleash some serious hurt and verbally dominate those I fear. I really don't like it that its in me. Its like being Bruce Banner. I gotta stay calm, or the Hulk shows up.

I'm not sure if something like that can be undone or unmade; just controlled...sublimated. In the book, Ender's Game, Ender Wiggin was the weapon that he was because of both his empathy and his ruthlessness. His intense empathy allowed him to quickly and instinctively understood his opponents so that his ruthlessness could exploit weaknesses as to deal lethal blows; Ender never fought a fight twice. I feel like Ender sometimes. What allows me to have the compassion I have is what also enables me to hurt others so quickly and easily.

I'm working on it. I'm getting better.

If I've ever hurt you by something I've said or done, I am deeply sorry.

Friday Five: Windows of the Soul

1. What color are your beautiful eyes? Did you inherit them from or pass them on to anyone in your family?
Green. We'll see in another couple three years whether or not the kid gets my green or Beth's blue eyes. Beth's hoping for a green-eyed red-haired kid (Beth's a red-head). We hope the kid'll also inherit my eyesight and Beth's hairline (she's blind without glasses; I started balding at 18).

2. What color eyes would you choose if you could change them?
I like 'em green. But if I were going to change them, I'd go either with a more vibrant green, or the other way, and wash them out to a gray-green.

3. Do you wear glasses or contacts? What kind? Like 'em or hate 'em?
I don't. I used to have 20/15 vision, but now its more 20/20; perhaps worse. I figure I'll need reading glasses in another decade or two, like my mom. I kinda like the way glasses look on me, and I have an automatic violent reaction toward things getting too close to my eyes.

4. Ever had, or contemplated, laser eye surgery? Happy with the results?
Of course I've contemplated laser-eye surgery. I've wanted to be a robot since I was a little kid. Such an upgrade would naturally include laser-eyes. But replacement laser eyes are so expensive, and I don't have adequate health care to help pay for the surgery; anyway, it'd probably be counted as cosmetic. Even if laser-eye surgery was an option, my renter's insurance would go through the roof. I mean, I could blow up part of the house if I looked the wrong way. The Board of Trustees would kill me.

5. Do you like to look people in the eye, or are you more eye-shy?
I probably look people too intensely in the eye. I'm just weird like that.

I Gotta Get Me One of Those.

Who Will Save the Sane?

I got this from Luther Punk.

Put your iTunes or MP3 player on shuffle

~For each question, press the next button to get your answer
~YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS!
~Tag 10 friends who might enjoy doing the game as well as the person you got the note from.

10 people? No way. Do this if you wish.

IF SOMEONE SAYS “IS THIS OKAY?” YOU SAY?
By the Way - Red Hot Chili Peppers


WHAT WOULD BEST DESCRIBE YOUR PERSONALITY?
It Looks Like You - Even Dando

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Megaman 2 - The Miniboses


WHAT IS YOUR LIFE’S PURPOSE?
Gear Fight - Kevin Manthei from the Invader Sim Soundtrack

There's no video, just sound.

WHAT IS YOUR MOTTO?
The World's Address - They Might Be Giants


WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
Prototype - Outkast

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Gender Bombs - The Stills

WHAT IS 2+2?
Pour Some Sugar On Me - Def Leopard


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Green Disease - Pearl Jam


WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Long - Chevelle

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
Needles - System of a Down


WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
Died in Your Arms Tonight - Chicago

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
P.I.M.P. - 50 Cent (Easily the best answer in the list.)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Chi 'n' Stu - System of a Down


WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
Possum Kingdom - The Toadies (IRL, It was actually, To Be With You - Mr. Big)


WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Outshined - Soundgarden


WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
In the Middle, In the Middle, In the Middle - They Might Be Giants

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Supermodel - Cataphasia

WHAT’S THE WORST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN?
Gold's Gym Guy - The Rugburns

HOW WILL YOU DIE?
Gay Not Gay - King Missile (Ummm...)

WHAT IS THE ONE THING YOU REGRET?
Going Down - Godsmack (Uh.)

WHAT MAKES YOU LAUGH?
Taxi Driver - Stephen Lynch

WHAT MAKES YOU CRY?
Waking Up - Even Dando

WILL YOU EVER GET MARRIED?
Swallow the Knife - Story of the Year

WHAT SCARES YOU THE MOST?
Master of Puppets - Metallica


IF YOU COULD GO BACK IN TIME, WHAT WOULD YOU CHANGE?
The House at the Top of the Tree - They Might Be Giants


WHAT HURTS RIGHT NOW?
The Fastest Longest Line - NOFX

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Who Will Save the Sane? - Type O Negative

Back to Wesley, With a Vengence.

You Scored as Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan You are an evangelical in the Wesleyan tradition. You believe that God's grace enables you to choose to believe in him, even though you yourself are totally depraved. The gift of the Holy Spirit gives you assurance of your salvation, and he also enables you to live the life of obedience to which God has called us. You are influenced heavly by John Wesley and the Methodists. Evangelical Holiness/Wesleyan 93% Roman Catholic 71% Emergent/Postmodern 71% Neo orthodox 68% Classical Liberal 54% Charismatic/Pentecostal 46% Modern Liberal 43% Reformed Evangelical 39% Fundamentalist 7%